Erotic Block for Men 👉🏼 Predatory Fear 😳

The block for men is not the "predatory-ness" of men per se, but the FEAR of predatory-ness. Because of this, men place a LOT of emphasis on their partner’s response to know if they are hurting or pleasing.

He completely depends on her.

He thinks: "nothing turns me on more than to see her turned on". Why? Because if she's turned on, he knows he is not hurting. He knows he is not being predatory.

So. What turns men on is to see their partner turned on.

They struggle to step into their selfishness. They struggle to surrender into their own pleasure, because they worry about hurting their partner.

So here's a bit of wisdom for all genders, from the wise Betty Martin: 👇🏼

When you say, “Giving you pleasure is what gives me pleasure,” .......you are relying on the indirect route to pleasure.

The indirect route is like casting a fishing line, 🎣 hoping to catch something.

The direct route is pleasurable as it is, no result is needed. It can feel primal, selfish.

Almost everyone has the direct route closed to some degree as a result of shame, guilt, social pressure, etc. (E.g. predatory fear for men!)

HERE'S THE DEAL. To the degree the direct route is closed, you HAVE to use the indirect route, because that’s ALL YOU HAVE.

You have to do whatever it takes to get that smile😸, sigh😽, or moan 🙀, or you have nothing. 🙅🏻‍♀️ This is not giving to someone; this is using them. Now you are both in performance mode: you're trying to perform the right stroke, and they're trying to perform the right response.

The indirect route is a SUBSTITUTE. You don’t know how to access pleasure directly, so you use your partner’s pleasure instead.

How do we open and expand our direct pleasure?!?! BIG QUESTION. We practice. Try waking up the hands by just feeling an object everyday for 5-10 mins.

Then try this on a person, and see if you can touch their body (non-sexually at first) for YOUR pleasure for 5-10 minutes.

More specifics revealed in the Sex Homework Society journey. 🍎