The “taking too long” myth

It’s no secret, that many wom*n have faked orgasms, because they feel a great amount of anxiety to orgasm in a timely manner. ⏱

So to the vulva owners out there 🙋🏼‍♀️

Our genitals are wired differently for orgasms.

We cannot be expected to conveniently pop off. I read somewhere that “orgasm equality means regarding clitoral stimulation and penetration equally”. I liked that 😀

If your partner is tiring themselves out, THEY have the responsibility to stop at their limit. Can you trust that?

YOUR responsibility is to know how you like to be pleasured and communicate that.

Your responsibility is NOT to know when to stop him because you’re worried he’s tired.

I dealt with this particular issue for a long time. I found a few things helped:

1. I shared with my partner that I did not want to orgasm chase. I wanted to teach myself to just tune into my pleasure and could they support me by also not chasing my orgasm 😊

2. I allowed myself to fantasise while being pleasured occasionally. Orgasm is super psychological for me! And I would share honestly about my fantasy and how it would bring me to climax! Having my partner aware of that was really cool.

3. Sometimes - in the super early days - I would ask (and this is maybe weird) if we could use a timer for 15-20 minutes so that I felt safe knowing there was an end point and that I wasn’t responsible for ending oral sex. (An interesting experiment for me to see if I could surrender more)

Is there other stuff that has worked for you?

Let me know!